I found that people didn’t know what to do with me because I didn’t fit neatly into one of the boxes that made them feel comfortable. Sometimes I found myself playing up one of those personas to be more “acceptable” and make people around me more comfortable but it was never my whole truth. My reality was so much more complex than “the Carrie Bradshaw” or “the lonely maiden aunt” or “the independent career woman” or “the feminist” or any other way of thinking about my status. I did date and have fabulous shoes, I did often feel lonely, I was terrified I’d never find a partner or have children, I did complete multiple graduate programs and build a satisfying career, I was committed to representing women in ways that defied patriarchal notions, but the intersectionality of all those could not be understood through any of those parts.